The porcupine anniversary program: I still have a Tesla in Berlin

Berlin’s future gets a very funny, very uneasy makeover in Ich hab’ noch einen Tesla in Berlin, the 75th-anniversary program at Die Stachelschweine. Set in 2028, the cabaret imagines debt-ridden Germany, a €14 cheese roll, Tesla-owned German carmakers, and a secret plan to sell Berlin to pay the bills.

I like the show’s mix of political satire and music, and I like that it takes place at Die Stachelschweine, a long-running Berlin cabaret theater in the basement of the Europacenter. The main drawback is clear: the performance is entirely in German, so you need strong German skills to follow its jokes and fast political references.

Key points to know before booking

• A 2028 Berlin fantasy: The plot imagines Chancellor Wagenknecht and Vice-Chancellor Pistorius trying to rescue Germany from crushing debt.
• Political cabaret with music: Expect sharp social criticism, black humor, quick scenes, and musical material rather than a traditional sightseeing tour.
• A historic theater setting: Die Stachelschweine is identified as Berlin’s first cabaret theater, with its entrance below the Europacenter.
• Three named performers: Santina Maria Schrader, Mirja Henking, and Sebastian Stert carry the production.
• A German-language evening: You must understand German to get the dialogue, satire, and topical jokes.
• Two hours for $45: The price is fair if you want live Berlin theater, but less useful if you cannot follow the language.

Why this show puts Berlin itself on trial

This is not a tour of Berlin’s monuments. It is a fast-moving stage show that uses Berlin as both setting and political target.

The imagined year is 2028. Germany has been pushed into a financial corner. The national debt keeps rising, the country’s credit rating has fallen to BB, and half of all tax income goes toward interest payments. Everyday life has become absurdly expensive, with a cheese roll costing €14.

That setup gives the performers plenty of room for jokes, but the subject is not light. The play takes aim at government promises, public spending, housing costs, privatization, industry, and the uneasy relationship between politics and powerful business figures.

The satire becomes especially Berlin-focused when the capital is treated as Germany’s silverware, something valuable enough to sell. A well-known electric-car developer and owner of a microblogging service quickly takes interest. The story then moves from political plan to comic disaster.

I like this kind of cabaret because it asks you to keep up. The jokes are not simply visual gags or broad comedy. Much of the humor depends on recognizing political figures, current debates, and the habits of Berlin public life. If you follow German politics, the show should give you more to chew on than a standard comedy performance.

Entering Die Stachelschweine beneath the Europacenter

The theater entrance is in the basement of the Europacenter. That location matters because it places the performance in a distinctly central Berlin setting, but you should not expect an open-air theater, grand concert hall, or formal opera-house arrival.

Your meeting point and end point are the same: the theater entrance. The supplied details do not describe a guided walk through the Europacenter or any sightseeing before the curtain, so plan this as a focused theater evening rather than an activity with several stops.

Allow enough time to find the basement entrance and exchange your voucher at the box office before the performance begins. You can choose a seating category, but you cannot select exact seats. That is worth noting if your party has strong preferences about location or wants to sit together in a particular row.

The activity is listed as wheelchair accessible. If accessibility is important for your visit, the theater’s accessible status is a useful reason to consider it, though the available information does not spell out details such as restroom layout or seat transfer arrangements.

A 2028 plot built from debt and political promises

The story begins with Chancellor Wagenknecht and Vice-Chancellor Pistorius under growing pressure. Germany’s finances are in bad shape, and the government’s promises are becoming harder to fund.

Pistorius develops a plan that appears almost too neat. If retirement begins at 55, public transport becomes free, and rents are capped at 1989 levels, the government could supposedly finance its promises with one bold measure.

That measure is the secret plan to sell Berlin. The capital becomes a political bargaining chip, a way to raise money by offering up the country’s most recognizable city.

The premise is deliberately exaggerated, but the subjects are familiar. Germany’s aging population, public transport costs, rent pressure, debt, and election promises all become material for the stage. The comedy comes from pushing recognizable problems into an outrageous future.

The title’s Tesla reference points to another thread in the satire. BASF and Bayer have left for Asia, while Volkswagen and BMW belong to Tesla. The joke is about industrial decline and the fear that German companies, technology, and decision-making may end up controlled elsewhere.

A prominent electric-car developer and microblogging owner then moves quickly to take advantage of the situation. The plan appears ready to work, but, as the setup promises, everything goes wrong.

Three performers, quick pacing, and plenty of music

The cast includes Santina Maria Schrader, Mirja Henking, and Sebastian Stert. With only three named actors, the production depends on fast changes in character, rhythm, and tone.

That small cast suits cabaret. Instead of requiring a large ensemble, the show can move quickly from a political exchange to a comic turn or musical passage. You should expect the performers to carry the energy of the evening directly from the stage, with little distance between actor and audience.

Frank Lüdecke and Sören Sieg wrote the program, and Lüdecke directs it. Luca Fazioli provides the music, with arrangements by Martin Rosengarten. Music is not a side decoration here. It is part of the show’s structure and helps break up the political dialogue.

The result is described as fast-paced, topical, and subtle. Those three words tell you a lot about the experience. The pace means you may not have much time to translate each line in your head. The topical material means the show depends on current political knowledge. The subtle humor means the best moments may come through understatement rather than loud punchlines.

The production also mixes black humor with what it calls Berlin serenity. That contrast is important. The characters may be facing financial collapse and the sale of the capital, yet the performance keeps a cool, local tone. Berlin’s reputation for dry wit and calm in the middle of chaos is part of the joke.

What the anniversary setting adds

This is the 75th-anniversary program of Die Stachelschweine. That gives the evening more context than a one-off comedy show. You are seeing a production tied to the identity and long life of a Berlin cabaret theater.

The anniversary theme also explains the confidence of the material. The show looks backward at political and economic habits while imagining a near future that is only a few years away from the present premise. It is not historical theater, but it draws on the theater’s long tradition of commenting on public life.

Die Stachelschweine is presented as Berlin’s first cabaret theater. For you, that makes the venue itself part of the experience. The focus remains on the stage, but the setting gives the evening a stronger connection to Berlin’s cabaret culture than a generic comedy performance would.

You should also expect the show to be uncensored. That does not mean every joke will work for every audience. Political cabaret often takes aim at people, parties, industries, and popular assumptions in the same breath. If you prefer gentle comedy or avoid current affairs, this may feel pointed.

Is two hours and $45 a good value?

At $45 per person, the experience sits in a reasonable range for a two-hour live theater performance in central Berlin. The value depends almost entirely on your interest in German-language cabaret.

If you speak German well, the price buys more than two hours of entertainment. You get a live look at how Berlin comedy handles public policy, high rents, government debt, the car industry, and technology billionaires. You also get a named cast, original writing, music, and a specific local theater setting.

The value is weaker if you only understand basic German. Cabaret relies on timing, wordplay, references, and quick changes in meaning. You might follow the broad plot about selling Berlin, but miss the lines that make the political material work.

The small-group designation is limited to six participants, which may make the booking feel more controlled, but the performance itself is still a theater show. Do not book it expecting a private performance or a guided discussion with the actors.

The flexible booking terms help reduce the risk. You can reserve now and pay later, and cancellation is allowed up to 24 hours in advance for a full refund. Those terms are useful if your Berlin schedule is still changing.

Who will enjoy this Berlin cabaret?

I would recommend this program most strongly to:

• German speakers who enjoy political humor
• Visitors who want an evening activity beyond major landmarks
• People interested in Berlin’s cabaret tradition
• Fans of satire about housing, government, cars, technology, and public money
• Returning Berlin visitors looking for a local cultural experience

It may be a poor fit for children or anyone looking for a visual sightseeing event. The available information does not give an age recommendation, so you should judge suitability based on your group and its comfort with political and black humor.

It is also not the right choice if you need an English-language show. There are no subtitles or translations mentioned, and the performance is explicitly in German.

Practical details that can shape your evening

The performance lasts two hours. Starting times vary, so check availability before you choose a date. Since the show ends where it begins, you can plan dinner, a hotel return, or another central Berlin activity around the theater without arranging separate transportation.

The venue is in the Europacenter, but the theater entrance is in the basement. That is the key arrival detail. Exchange your voucher at the box office before the performance, and do not wait until the last moment if you are unfamiliar with the building.

Seating is selected by category rather than by exact seat. If you are booking with friends, the safest approach is to choose the same category and arrive with enough time for the box-office process. The supplied information does not promise adjacent seats or a specific view.

Wheelchair access is available. This makes the show more practical for visitors who need an accessible venue, though you may want to confirm any personal seating or facility requirements before booking.

The strongest reason to go

The strongest reason to book is the combination of local theater and current political comedy. You are not simply watching a generic stage act with Berlin in the background. The city is central to the story, and the plot turns Berlin into the object of a national financial scheme.

The other strong reason is the acting. Santina Maria Schrader, Mirja Henking, and Sebastian Stert are named as the performers, and the small cast fits a quick cabaret format. The material is designed to make you laugh while also giving you something to think about, especially around the cost of living, public promises, and corporate power.

That balance is important. The show is not sold as pure escapism. Its appeal comes from recognizing real concerns inside an exaggerated story. You may laugh at the €14 cheese roll, then notice that the joke depends on a very real anxiety about prices.

Should you book Ich hab’ noch einen Tesla in Berlin?

Book it if you understand German and want a sharp, music-filled Berlin evening with political bite. The $45 price is sensible for two hours of live cabaret, especially if you value local theater and topical writing more than a conventional sightseeing attraction.

Skip it if you need English, dislike political satire, or want a relaxed show that does not ask you to follow fast dialogue and current references. For the right audience, the combination of Die Stachelschweine, a three-person cast, Berlin humor, and an absurd 2028 financial crisis makes this a distinctive night out.

FAQ

Where does the performance begin?

The theater entrance is in the basement of the Europacenter in Berlin.

Where does the activity end?

The activity ends back at the theater meeting point.

How long is the performance?

The program lasts two hours. Starting times vary, so check availability for the date you want.

Is the show performed in English?

No. The play is performed in German, and knowledge of German is required.

Can I choose my exact seat?

You can choose a seating category, but you cannot choose exact seats.

What is included in the price?

The $45 price includes a ticket for Ich hab’ noch einen Tesla in Berlin at Die Stachelschweine. You must exchange your voucher at the box office before the performance begins.